"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"
"Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
Life is like a box of chocolates:
A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.
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99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
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This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits.
She sits down, raises her arm, and says, "Bartender, I would like a drink."
There's an old drunk sitting next to her.
Slurring, he says, "Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink."
She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another.
The old man says, "Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants."
Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says, "Sir, that's nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?"
The old man answers, "Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
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