Yo' Mama is so fat, she has a kickstand on her peg leg.
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession.
The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?"
The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors."
The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure."
The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
Vote:
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom.
I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter?
Only came in male boxes.
Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland?
You are approaching the Russian border.
One day in class, the teacher says:
"Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?"
"Simple Lost tense!"