Best jokes ever

"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Vote:
has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
Vote:
has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Vote:
has 63.06 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Vote:
has 63.05 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus? I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
Vote:
has 63.05 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
Vote:
has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life, memory
99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed... Compile again, 100 little bugs in the code.
Vote:
has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, poems, programmer
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
Vote:
has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, "Bartender, I would like a drink." There's an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, "Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink." She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another. The old man says, "Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants." Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says, "Sir, that's nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?" The old man answers, "Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, women
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, office, work
<<<550551552553
More jokes →
Page 550 of 1426.