Best jokes ever

In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.

Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.

Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.

If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."

Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.

There are these two guys named John and Cliff. They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard. They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not. One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man. The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend. "Hi, John.”" "Cliff, is it really you?" "Hey, I told you I’d be back to tell you what’s up. And, you know John, there’s good news and bad news." "Okay. What’s the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven." "The bad news?" "You’re pitching tomorrow night."

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world.

2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...