Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
How did that bullfight come out?
Oh, it was a toss-up.
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.