Best jokes ever

When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, Yo mama
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
Yo mama so fat when they took pictures of Earth it looked like Earth had a pimple.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
You mamas so small she fell of her chair and committed suicide.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: death, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What's faster than the speed of light? A: A jew passing Germany.
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has 62.20 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, morbid, racist, travel
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him just three gunnysacks. The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.” So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.” The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said “Potatoes.”
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger, prison
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity
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