When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys. They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that was in her garden. Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties." She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
Yo' Mama is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm one for each time zone she's in.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.