An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon.
They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, "I should tell you I have acute angina."
The old man says, "I hope so. You sure don't have cute tits." 
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Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
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Why don't men like to drink coffee at work?
It keeps them awake.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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