One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping. ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says. She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Yo momma so poor... That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.
Yo momma so poor... The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
Yo momma so poor... I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"