Best jokes ever

Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.

The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "

Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.

Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.

Knock Knock Who's there? Muffikin Muffikin who? Muffikin fingers are trapped in the door.

Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.

There was this Mexican guy, Black guy, and Asian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss calls a meeting with them about today's work. They were all pretty new, so they had to be assigned jobs  He says to the Mexican guy, "You're in charge of the cement."  He says to the Black guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."  He says to the Asian guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."  After delegating out all the responsibilities he says, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're all fired." The boss was quite serious and had a reputation for being shrewd. They immediately get to work.  At the end of the day, the boss comes back and checks on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and says, "Nice work," to the Mexican guy. He looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Nice work," to the Black guy. He looks around and can't find the Asian guy anywhere so he asks, "Where the heck is that Asian guy?"  All of a sudden, the Asian jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.