When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance. He breaks dance
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!