Best jokes ever

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: pirate, winter
A lady buys some new furniture at Ikea. She reads the instuctions and builds the wardrobe. As soon as it"s built she a bus passes by and the wardrobe falls into pieces. The lady tries again and 5 minutes later another bus passes by and the wardrobe falls into pieces. The lady is furious and calls Ikea. Ikea tell her that they will send a worker to build it. When the worker arrives he builds the wardrobe and says: "Ok, I"m going to my next client." To which the lady says: "NO! Wait! You"ll see, as soon as a bus comes by it will dismantle itself..." The man agrees to stay to wait for the bus. After a while the man says that he better get in the wardrobe to see where the problem is when the bus passes by, to which the lady agrees. 10 minutes later the husband arrives and say"s: "Ahh lovely honey you bought us a new wardrobe..." He opens it up and say"s: "SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" To which the worker replies: "I"m waiting for the bus!"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: graduation, sport
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. The bartender says "What will it be?" The sandpaper goes "Just something to take the edge off"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: bartender, communication
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: driving, kids, money
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys. They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that was in her garden. Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties." She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A Native American walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of sh*t and a shotgun. He asks for a bottle of whiskey and immediately downs it. He throws the bag of sh*t up in the air, shoots it with his shotgun, and takes a big bite of the cat's ass. The bartender asks, "Buddy, what the hell are you doing?" The Native American responds, "I want to be like the white man: get drunk, shoot the sh*t and eat pussy."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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