Joke #10797

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, death, life
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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has 69.53 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting