What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.
Life is a car wash … and I’m on a bicycle.
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
"If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?"
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?"
He promptly replied, "Another train."
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I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
Please be prepared for my mood.
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A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy."
"Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there...
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
I'll be honest.
I did not graduate at the top of my class.
In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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