Best jokes ever

Drunk guy gets pulled over. Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him. The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence." So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, drunk
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, travel
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks: "Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?" Offended the Asian man replies: "What you think that just because I'm asian I know martial arts?" The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my f*cking bourbon"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
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