Best jokes ever

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.

Yo' Mama is so ugly, the tide wouldn't even take her out.

In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.

Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.

What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.

A Shark alarm at Sydney’s Bondi Beach sent everyone rushing from the water –except for three young boys who didn’'t hear the siren. Onlookers were horrified to see a dorsel fin moving fast towards them. Suddenly, a tall bloke took a deep breath, dived into the surf, swam past the shark, and scooped up two of the boys, swiftly bringing them to the shore and safety. He then took another deep breath and swam out again, snatching the third boy before rapidly approaching, before the monster could attack. Then got him back to the beach in one piece. The heroic bloke then put a knife between his clenched teeth, swam out to the shark, and killed it in a furious battle. As he staggered out from the surf, bleeding and battered, a journalist raced up to him and said, “That was the most heroic thing I’'ve ever witnessed mate. This will appear on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper: “Aussie hero saves three boys from killer shark!” “Thanks.” Smiles the fella, “but I'’m not an Aussie. I'’m a British backpacker.” “No worries,” said the journalist with a frown, “it'’ll still be front-page news.” The next day, the newspaper’s headline screamed, “Pommy bastard kills boy'’s pet fish!”

Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.

Dogs may shed, but cats shred.

Chuck Norris is the 51st state.

Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy only sees the other side of her every 4 years.