Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. The bartender says "What will it be?" The sandpaper goes "Just something to take the edge off"
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg? Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
A Native American walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of sh*t and a shotgun. He asks for a bottle of whiskey and immediately downs it. He throws the bag of sh*t up in the air, shoots it with his shotgun, and takes a big bite of the cat's ass. The bartender asks, "Buddy, what the hell are you doing?" The Native American responds, "I want to be like the white man: get drunk, shoot the sh*t and eat pussy."
Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".