Best jokes ever

A: What does "IDK" mean? B: I don't know. A: Ugh! Nobody does!
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has 62.10 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: life
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.10 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: bible, sport
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, "How is this possible?" The guy says,"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cop
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom. I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
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has 62.07 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: sex
When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger? When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.
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has 62.05 % from 797 votes. More jokes about: black people
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
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