A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
Drug test? What kind of drugs are we testing?
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!