A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried.
When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD...”
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once.
He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office.
"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.
"Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
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There is legend that goes like this:
In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up.
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar.
They head straight for the mirror.
The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up.
The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up.
Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a dartboard?
A: Yo' Mama's had more pricks.
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
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Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
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