Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits A: Hobbyte.
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb? It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Your mama is so ugly that I guess you can say that the genes passed down.
Yo momma so poor... When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
Yo momma so poor... When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't. Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard. A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german. A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
A male driver gets stopped by police, and is asked: "Have you been drinking?" The man replies: "Okay, yes, I have... how did you know officer? Was I swerving across the road, or speeding?" "No sir," replied the policeman, "...nothing else can explain that fat ugly woman sitting next to you."