Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night?
A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote:
A guy shows up late for work.
The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"
he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
Vote:
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard.
A woman fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returned to the bar.
The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth.
How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds."
The bartender was puzzled.
"Why?
What happened?
He weighed 20 pounds at birth?"
The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night?
A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom.
A barmaid at night is bare and...