Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.