Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.