Get bad marks, relatives will insult you.
Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts.
Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him.
Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself?
The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!"
2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened?
I shot myself into my knee.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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