Best jokes ever

Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside. "We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off. One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream." "Okay, let's," said Toku. Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does a man call true love? An erection.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
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has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
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has 61.27 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: dad, mexican, racist, school
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