Two guys are sitting on a bar stool.
One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, "I slept with your mother!"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
The other says, "Go home dad you’re drunk." 
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Yo momma so poor...
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
Yo momma so poor...
When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
Yo Mama so old...
When Moses parted the Red Sea, he found yo mama fishing on the other side!
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Vote:
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles?
Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.
A male driver gets stopped by police, and is asked: "Have you been drinking?"
The man replies: "Okay, yes, I have... how did you know officer? Was I swerving across the road, or speeding?"
"No sir," replied the policeman, "...nothing else can explain that fat ugly woman sitting next to you."