Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid:
"Is your mom at home?"
"Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared.
"And your father?"
"No, he has hidden away as well..."
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
When Chuck Norris makes a joke on this website, everyone starts to make bad jokes because they didn't want to anger Chuck Norris.
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Two men are chatting;
"My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'"
"It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years."
"Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Q: What's the worst part about sex?
A: When they wake up!
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer.
His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted".
He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough."
His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?"
He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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