Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Q: What's the worst part about sex?
A: When they wake up!
Two men are chatting;
"My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'"
"It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years."
"Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right.
The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
Vote:
If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
Vote:
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
Vote:
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid:
"Is your mom at home?"
"Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared.
"And your father?"
"No, he has hidden away as well..."
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"