Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it. Patient: What's the Cure? Doctor: It's an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let's try to stay focused...
Yo mama so stupid, I said, "Why do you have 2 quarters in your ears?" And she said, "I am listening to 50 cent."
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
How are black people and wolves similar? They both fight in packs.
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!