Best jokes ever

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
Yo Momma is so stupid when she asked me what kind of jeans am I wearing I said Guess and she said Levis.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: stupid, Yo mama
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting? Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, wife, women
A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?" By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them. She says, "You sure he isn’t here?" The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?" The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, kids
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote: has 63.21 % from 422 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one. The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.
Vote: has 63.21 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, game, prison, racist, white people
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Vote: has 63.21 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed