Best jokes ever

There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.” Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked. Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.” And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
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has 61.35 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
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has 61.33 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 61.33 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
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has 61.32 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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has 61.32 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
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has 61.31 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
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has 61.31 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: math, sex
Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
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