Best jokes ever

There was a couple wanted to go out for dinner for their anniversary but they didn’t make it with the babysitter so they had nowhere to leave their little boy! After a lot of talk father came up with an idea! "We will put a vinyl at the pickup deck, something with kid-stories so our little boy will sleep at once and everything will be fine!" "Ok," said the wife. So,that is what they did and went out sure for their plan. After about 2 hours, they arrived back home and listen noise and the boy screaming: "I waaaant,i waaaant,i waaaaant…" They run up to boy’s room and saw the little boy hitting the wall and screaming the same words: "I waaaant!" They wonder about what happened and then they listened to the pickup: "Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story?"
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More jokes about: anniversary, couple, kids, wife
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
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More jokes about: animal
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
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More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
Your mama is so short, she was able to get an job application with the Oompa Loompas!
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.
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More jokes about: alcohol, blonde
Yo mama is so fat she doesn't need the internet. She is already world-wide!
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More jokes about: fat, internet, Yo mama
You mama so old she made yoda look young.
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In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested. Then he created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
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More jokes about: god, time, women
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook