If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Your mom's so fat she sat on Big Lots and it turned into Lowes!!!
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?"
And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Vote:
Bill and Earl are out playing golf.
They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing.
Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!