Best jokes ever

What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: sex
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
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has 60.97 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
Why do men like having sex with the lights on? It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: sex
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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has 60.93 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: christian, communication, ethnic, heaven, time
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: stupid, weather, Yo mama
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: pirate, student, time
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
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