Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear.
The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans.
I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear."
"If you know that, why are you changing shoes?"
"Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear.
I only have to outrun you."
A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early.
Arriving home, he found his wife with another man.
Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next.
His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.
"Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode."
"This I've got to hear," the Sailor said.
"It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
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Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the
whole chicken.
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