Best jokes ever

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dinosaur, stupid, travel
Q: What's the worst part about sex? A: When they wake up!
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: mean, sex
Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, marriage
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, life, tax
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Your mom's so fat she sat on Big Lots and it turned into Lowes!!!
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
Vote:
has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dating, food, life
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote:
has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Vote:
has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
<<<596597598599
More jokes →
Page 596 of 1429.