Best jokes ever

This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
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has 61.41 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: sex
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: bible, sport
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Santa, ugly, Yo mama
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