Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove!
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Yo Momma's so fat she uses an air balloon for parachute.
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”