Best jokes ever

A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, mean, women
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dog
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: beauty, redneck, stupid, time
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