Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.