Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, political
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: beauty, hipster
Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
He opens the door then turns the handle.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane. "It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed." After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. "You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: old people
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