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Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
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A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
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Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
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Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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