Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How do you go about hiring a horse? Try two pairs of stilts!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men, women
"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane. "It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed." After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. "You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: old people
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
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