Best jokes ever

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.83 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
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has 64.81 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: math
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, marriage, wife
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: sex
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got on a motorcycle she didn't know how to open the window.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: IT
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
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