Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night?
A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote:
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?"
After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!"
At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there
was silence for about ten seconds.
Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
When a white person delivers an asian baby.
White person: "Congratulations he looks like your husband... mom... cousin... uncle... neighbor..."
Vote:
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan.
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!