Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: You push them both aside when you eat.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan.
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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