Best jokes ever

"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane. "It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed." After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. "You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: old people
Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
He opens the door then turns the handle.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Once you pop, you just can't stop. Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Nietzsche's book was originally called Also Sparch Chuck Norris.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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