Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical." The redhead's word is "sardonic." The blonde's word is "di*k."
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.