Best jokes ever

Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 60.60 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
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has 60.59 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: black people, celebrity, insulting, Yo mama
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
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has 60.57 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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has 60.57 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Worst way to ask for anal: "Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
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has 60.56 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: sex
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, technology
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?” said the officer. “I’m going to a lecture.” the man said. “And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?” the cop asked. “My wife.” said the man.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop
A doctor and a lawyer are involved in a car crash. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor is a little shaken up, offers him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepts, has a drink and hands back the flask. The lawyer puts it in his pocket. ‘Aren’t you having one yourself?’ asks the doctor. ‘Sure,’ says the lawyer. ‘But I’ll wait till after the police leave.’
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
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