Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag?
Speed bumps.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.
Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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