Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying.
"Why are you crying?" asked the other child.
"I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger."
When he heard this, the other child started to cry.
"Why are you crying?"
"I’m here for a urine test."
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year!
What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
Steve Martin
Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican.
The pilot says: "there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane."
The black guy throws his Jordan's and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: "we have to many of these in our country".
The white guys throws the Mexican and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
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More jokes about: airplane, mexican, racist, white people
More jokes about: airplane, mexican, racist, white people
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.