Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.