Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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