Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard.
They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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