After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Yo mama is so stupid, I said it was going to be chili out and she grabbed a bowl and a spoon.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"