What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
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A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state's strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss' office.
"I quit! That's it, I'm not working here anymore!"
"Why?" asks the boss. "What's the problem?"
"I've been working here for so long that I've grown the broom bristles between my legs. I can't take it anymore."
"Listen," the boss says. "That's perfectly normal. Look, I have those too."
"Oh, my God!" she exclaims.
"It's worse than I thought! You've also grown a broom handle!"
When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.
The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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