Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Your mama is so short, she was able to get an job application with the Oompa Loompas!
You mama so old she made yoda look young.
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”