What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no I-Deer.
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.
The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them.
I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station.
The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here!
I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time.
Today I am taking them to the beach."
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
What happened when the shark became famous?
He tured into a starfish.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?"
"Because theres to many cheetahs."