Joke #208

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
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has 60.36 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
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Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
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What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 52.96 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, death
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, travel
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
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has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, marriage, travel, wife
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal