What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.