Joke #208

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
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has 60.64 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
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has 28.62 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9- Iron". The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9-Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong. He puts his other club away, and grabs a 9-iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked! He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3-wood." The guy takes out a 3-wood, and boom! A hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man has golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000,black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom - tons of cash come sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures, Why not? After all the frog did for him, it is a small price to pay. With the kiss, however, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."
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has 84.17 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, golf, women, work
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
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has 72.76 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, parrot
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, food