What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.