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Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him. That man was Stephen Hawking.
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How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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