What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Yo' Mama is like a postage stamp: you lick, you stick, you send her away.
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!”
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.