A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous.
When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense.
"Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?"
The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes.
So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.
"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
I lost my virginity.
Can I have yours?
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the
whole chicken.
Vote:
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Vote:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!”
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Yo momma’s so ugly, yo daddy takes her to work just so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks! What did you do with them?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."