If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo Momma so poor I stepped in her house and I was in the backyard.
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
Yo mamma is like a piece of wood, flat and easy to nail.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.