Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside? Coconut.... What were you thinking?
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers? A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.