An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name. Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Yo momma is so fat that she uses the Great Wall of China wall as a belt.
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
Chuck gives the sun the chills.
Three flies in a trashcan get trapped overnight in a bathroom. The first fly goes to the sink, the second fly stays in the tub, and the third fly chooses the toilet. The next morning, all the exhausted flies gather back in the garbage can. The first fly says, "I'm exhausted! I almost got washed down the drain." The second fly says, "I almost got squashed by feet in the shower!" The third fly says, "The toilet was fine until it suddenly got dark. First, I heard thunder, then it started to rain, and if it weren't for that big brown log, I surely would have drowned."