Best jokes ever

Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: democrat, dog, political, vulgar
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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has 60.76 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket. "OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"
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has 60.75 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, marriage, sex, weather
Q: Whats the difference between a black person and an apple? A: The apple falls from the tree.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women
Yo mama so ugly, Instagram tagged her selfies 'explicit content'.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: technology, ugly, Yo mama
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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