Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."