Best jokes ever

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
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More jokes about: age, kids, love, school, teacher
2 Scientists walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they'll have. The first one says he'll have H2O. The second one said he'll have H2O too. The second one died.
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One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
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Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, I asked if her face hurt because it was killing me.
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More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
One day little Johnny was playing on his push car that u sit on and push with your feet. His looked like a bus, and as such he was the bus driver. Little Johnny would drive a little, stop, and say "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to get off, get off." His mother was in the kitchen and thought surely I didn't hear him correctly. But then once again, little Johnny stopped and said "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want t o get off, get off." So him mom came running out and told her young son he was to go to his room 'till he learned to play right. About 20 minutes later Johnny came out to play. Be reassured his mom he learned his lesson. So, back on his bus, he began driving around again. He stopped and said "all you nice people that want to get off, get off. And all you nice people that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to know why I'm late, ask the bitch in the kitchen.
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More jokes about: communication, game, little Johnny, time, vulgar
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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More jokes about: insulting, party, political, stupid, Yo mama
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.
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More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, nerd