Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
A married couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. While driving home the wife saw a tear coming from her husband’s eye. “Are you happy that we have spent 50 splendid years together?” she said. He said, “No. I was just thinking about our wedding and how your father threatened me with a shotgun that is I didn’t marry you right then he would have me thrown in prison for 50 years. Tomorrow I could have been free!”
Vote: has 63.11 % from 329 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Vote: has 63.11 % from 329 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Vote: has 63.10 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Vote: has 63.10 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, dirty
Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*
Vote: has 63.09 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, sport
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama