Best jokes ever

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Your mama so fat when she goes in Walmart and goes out it's gone.
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More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
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Your mama's so fat she asked for a water bed and we threw a blanket on the ocean.
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More jokes about: communication, fat, Yo mama


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