Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
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Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
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Why was the picture sent to jail?
It was framed.
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."