Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Q: What do you call a Chinese person with a video camera? A: Phil Ming
Son: "What's love juice daddy?" Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?" Son: "Wimbledon."
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.