Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
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Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
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Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunting peckers.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"