According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way? Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.