Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said ‘Sorry, no professionals.’
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: drug, ethnic, fitness
The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. "Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy, female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat old slob who looks like a lecher, very sullen, mean and dangerous! " The captain responds, "Patricia, I've told you this before. This is Air Force One..."
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: air force, airplane, couple, insulting, political
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. "Thank heaven I’ve met someone," he cried. "I’ve been lost for the last week." "Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman. "No," said the American. "Then I’m afraid you’re still lost," was the reply.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: racist
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: fat, science, Yo mama
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