Best jokes ever

Yo momma’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said ‘Sorry, no professionals.’
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.” Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked. Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.” And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: love, romantic, teen, time
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: fat, science, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, golf
Q: Why do women have arms? A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: women
An American was hopelessly lost in the Highlands and wandered about for nearly a week. Finally, on the seventh day he met a kilted inhabitant. "Thank heaven I’ve met someone," he cried. "I’ve been lost for the last week." "Is there a reward out for you?" asked the Scotsman. "No," said the American. "Then I’m afraid you’re still lost," was the reply.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: racist
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
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