Best jokes ever

On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, party
Yo mama so ugly, Instagram tagged her selfies 'explicit content'.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: technology, ugly, Yo mama
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When chemist die, they barium.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: chemistry
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.74 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: animal
A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?" Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?" The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make." And she says, "So have I, honey." To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: couple, dating, holiday, marriage, wife
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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