Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
What do you call a pool filled with Black People?
Coco Puffs.
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Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!