Q: Why do some women look at blank paper?
A: They like to read their rights.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel.
A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs.
He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs".
She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
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At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead.
The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him.
Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd.
"Let me at him, I can help him," she says.
"What can you do?" ask the rescue people.
"We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late."
"I can," says the woman. "Stand back!"
And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face.
Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up.
"What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed.
The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
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What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.
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Q: Did you hear about the gay truckers?
A: They exchanged loads.
Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
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