Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
May: "Why did you slap me?!"
Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!"
May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!"
Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will."
May: "Don't be such a beach."
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Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunting peckers.
A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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