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What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
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Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
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While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather