Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical." The redhead's word is "sardonic." The blonde's word is "di*k."
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away. The other blonde asks what he's doing. "Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones." "No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.