Best jokes ever

Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: money
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away. The other blonde asks what he's doing. "Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones." "No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, new year
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer? A lot of bites.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, IT
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."
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has 60.15 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dad, kids, money, school
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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has 60.12 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarrhea so he thought he was melting
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has 60.12 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: black people
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