I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night.
I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum."
He said, "I'm not."
Vote:
Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.
Vote:
Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
What's lil Wayne's favorite kind of pizza?
Little Seizures.
What?
To soon?
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
What animals do you bring to bed?
Your calves.