Best jokes ever

There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What does Pontiac stand for? Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
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has 59.22 % from 369 votes. More jokes about: black people, car
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
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has 59.21 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
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has 59.21 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
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has 59.21 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other. After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it. Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?" "Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response. Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, stupid, work
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
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