What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow."
The next day she came in wearing black!
When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.
Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no no!" said the man.
"I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
You might be a redneck if a police officer pulls you over to ask for your driver's license and your address is the county jail.
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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