Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Yo mama so fat she was the comet that destroyed dusty depot.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf.
When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
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Yo Mama is so black, when she leans up against a white wall she looks like an alley.
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What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag?
Speed bumps.
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife.
He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water."
She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!"
He replied, "Thank God!"
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance.
When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused.
The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it.
The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat.
He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
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