Yo mama nose is so big she could smell what the rock was cooking before he started cooking.
Sheniqua was excited about her upcoming birthday.
She told her mother that uncle Leroy was going to take her to Florida for her birthday.
Her mother asked Leroy if this was true.
Leroy said "No. I told her when she turned seventeen I was goin to tampa with her."
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy f*ck we can't fix that.''
There were three guys in Hell - Iranian, American, and a Chinese man.
They asked Satan to let them call their family.
The American called and talked for 10 minutes.
He payed $1,000.
The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes.
He payed $2,000.
The Iranian talked for an hour and only paid $10.
The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Hell to Hell is local.
Q. What's the king of the pencil case?
A. The ruler.
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name.
The wife, amused at first, chuckles.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this.
"Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!"
She gets very frustrated.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!"
The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert.
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
Vote:
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."