Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...