An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.
The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”
The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss?
A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
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In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love.
In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
A: Because it gets you nowhere.
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys?
Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
Yo mama is so fake even China denied that they made her.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Zany
Zany who?
Zany body home?
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