Two old drunks in a bar.
The first one says,
"Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands.
By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.
"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem.
I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand"
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
Yo mamma so hairy she has afros on her nipples.
Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.
Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy."
I tell him I want a second opinion.
He says, "Okay, you're ugly too!"
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Which runs faster, hot or cold?
Hot.
Everyone can catch cold.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
Vote:
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!