Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down. The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house. "That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check it and forward me what I got?"
Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.