Best jokes ever

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, ugly
An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder. The drunk guy just ignores him. After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down. He notices that the alien has no genitalia. He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?" The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!
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has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, sex
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
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has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris is danger's middle name.
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has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master." The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you." The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this." The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. "What about your third wish?" asks the genie. "Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars." The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. "What's wrong?" asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
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has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: atheist, genie, money
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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has 59.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama nose is so big she could smell what the rock was cooking before he started cooking.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: food, ugly, Yo mama
What's funnier than cancer? Most things, really.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
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