One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.