Best jokes ever

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: women
Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: cop, game, geography, kids
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch cold.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Redbull doesn't give you wings. Lat pulldowns do.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
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