Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
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I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why?
Because the sign says - no tres passing.
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.
It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
FBI.
FB…
We are asking the questions here!
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I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night.
I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum."
He said, "I'm not."
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Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.