Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.