Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?"
Woman: "No."
Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers.
On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum...
Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"...
Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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Yo mamma so ugly when she was walking to the bank.
They turned of the security cameras.
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both wipe out klingons.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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