Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids?
A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Q: What do you call a group of black people.
A: An auction.
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Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?"
Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
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Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Pornhub is Down,
your mums Facebook will do.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."