Best jokes ever

Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"  "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, school, work
Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo momma so old... She left her purse on Noah's Ark.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
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