Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Pornhub is Down,
your mums Facebook will do.
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?"
Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
Vote:
How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
Vote:
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
Vote:
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?"
"Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?"
The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
Two men are discussing their lives.
One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear."
The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
Wife:"There's trouble with car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband:"Water in a carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife:"I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor."
Husband:"You don't even know what a carburetor is.I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife:"In the pool."
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.