"Grandma, in the greengrocery they have that thick and that long cucumber."
Deaf grandma answers,"be sure he'll also marry you."
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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Q: Why are there more black folk then Indians?
A: Because we haven't played Cowboys and Black folk yet!
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Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.