Best jokes ever

Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.” The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”
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More jokes about: food, marriage, old people
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
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More jokes about: money, political, weather
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea? A: Lots of room.
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More jokes about: disgusting, elephant
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is... Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama is so fat, it says to be continued, when she gets on a weighing-machine.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time