Two drunks are sitting side by side in a bar. One of the drunks goes to the bathroom but neglects to button up his fly when he’s finished. He staggers back to the bar, sits on a bar stool, and his penis flops out on the bartop. The other drunk yells, ‘Snake!’ and hits the penis with a bottle. The first drunk shouts, ‘Hit it again! It just bit me!’
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.
Do you know the joke of "no me neither"? No. Me neither.
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!
Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan.
Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.