Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
Q: What did one magnet say to the other? A: I find you very attractive.
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card. Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’ ‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend. ‘You should report this thief to the police.’ ‘I would,’ says the man. ‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.