Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Vote:
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
Vote:
"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal.
"Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber.
"Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered.
So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
Vote:
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Vote:
Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak dick...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.