Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber.
"Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered.
So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
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Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak dick...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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What do your parents' car and testicles have in common?
Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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If you go on google and type find Chuck Norris then click I'm feelin lucky...run
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