Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Did you ever notice:
Everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B".
Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs and lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy...
That's origin of "BP"!
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What is the perfect Father's Day gift?
Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
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