Two men are discussing their lives.
One says, "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear."
The other one says, "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."
Wife:"There's trouble with car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband:"Water in a carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife:"I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor."
Husband:"You don't even know what a carburetor is.I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife:"In the pool."
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
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Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal.
"Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber.
"Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered.
So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
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Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
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