Best jokes ever

How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroid's.
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: racist
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
Vote: has 63.58 % from 86 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, lesbian
Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
Vote: has 63.56 % from 144 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, celebrity, insulting, Yo mama
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote: has 63.54 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, phone, relationship, student
A married couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. While driving home the wife saw a tear coming from her husband’s eye. “Are you happy that we have spent 50 splendid years together?” she said. He said, “No. I was just thinking about our wedding and how your father threatened me with a shotgun that is I didn’t marry you right then he would have me thrown in prison for 50 years. Tomorrow I could have been free!”
Vote: has 63.54 % from 333 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Equation Men = eat + sleep + earn money Donkeys = eat + sleep Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money Therefore, Men - earn money = Donkeys In other words, Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Vote: has 63.53 % from 245 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
Vote: has 63.53 % from 245 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, school
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women


<<<664665666667
More jokes →
Page 664 of 1380.