getting ready to stone a prostitute that had been caught in the act. Jesus said, "Let the first stone be thrown by someone who has never sinned" Suddenly, a rock comes flying over the crowd. Jesus turned, looks and then comments. "Mother!!"
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Q: What did the basketball say to the player? A: Please don't shoot me.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state's strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss' office. "I quit! That's it, I'm not working here anymore!" "Why?" asks the boss. "What's the problem?" "I've been working here for so long that I've grown the broom bristles between my legs. I can't take it anymore." "Listen," the boss says. "That's perfectly normal. Look, I have those too." "Oh, my God!" she exclaims. "It's worse than I thought! You've also grown a broom handle!"
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Q:What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A:"Please, no stories!"
Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?" The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do." "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."