Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair? A: By doing the splits.
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!