Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
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