Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
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