Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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