Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.