What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man. 
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
You might be a redneck if your mother carries a lug nut wrench for a toothpick.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.