What do you call ten million black people jumping out of a plane? Night time.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Chuck Norris can watch music.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room. Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?" Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?" Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…" "Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"
Yo Momma's so fat she uses an air balloon for parachute.
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.