Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised?
Her husband was a blonde too!
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
You might be a redneck if your mother carries a lug nut wrench for a toothpick.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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