Best jokes ever

A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs: "Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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More jokes about: food, money, Yo mama
Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
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Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she has a kickstand on her peg leg.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS." Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked. "I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman. The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand. "Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she walked past the toilet, it flushed itself.
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Avatar's were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a smurf.
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Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
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More jokes about: men