Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy f*ck we can't fix that.''
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
Dear Maths, Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?" Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
What did the vagina say to the penis. So do you cum here often.
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float? A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water." She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!" He replied, "Thank God!"
Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."