Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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Chuck Norris once appeared on celebrity wipeout.
They had to end the season after he destroyed the sucker punch wall with his chin.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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