Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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