Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction!
Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works.
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
Q: What did one magnet say to the other? A: I find you very attractive.
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.