Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?
Moe: I don’t know. What?
Joe: The ruler.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
Vote:
Yo mama is so fake even China denied that they made her.
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Vote:
Q:How do you know when you are at a gay picnic?
A:When all the hot dogs taste like shit!
Q: How do 5 gay men walk?
A: One Direction!
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
Vote:
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said
"Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"