Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies? Moe: I don’t know. What? Joe: The ruler.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
Yo mama is so fake even China denied that they made her.
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Q:How do you know when you are at a gay picnic? A:When all the hot dogs taste like shit!
Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction!
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
What does Pontiac stand for? Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac!
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"