Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
Vote:
Q: Do you know the most favourite play of gays?
A: Romeo and Julius.
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A firequaker!
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat.
While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat.
The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God!
Help me, help me!’
His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter.
The lawyer points to his feet and screams, ‘I’m melting!
I’m melting…!’
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Vote:
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their knees.