Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.