One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!