A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Yo mama so fat, the only way scientists found out about space because you could see her from Earth.
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!