Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Vote:
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography
Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
Vote:
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
Vote:
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
Vote:
has 57.70 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, political, republican
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
Vote:
has 57.69 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works.
Vote:
has 57.68 % from 437 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, work
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Vote:
has 57.66 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
Vote:
has 57.66 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Vote:
has 57.66 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
Vote:
has 57.66 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<696697698699
More jokes →
Page 696 of 1425.