Yo mama like a door nob everyone gets a turn.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours? A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Q: Why did hitter kill himself? A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
There was this Mexican guy, Black guy, and Asian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss calls a meeting with them about today's work. They were all pretty new, so they had to be assigned jobs He says to the Mexican guy, "You're in charge of the cement." He says to the Black guy, "You're in charge of the dirt." He says to the Asian guy, "You're in charge of the supplies." After delegating out all the responsibilities he says, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're all fired." The boss was quite serious and had a reputation for being shrewd. They immediately get to work. At the end of the day, the boss comes back and checks on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and says, "Nice work," to the Mexican guy. He looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Nice work," to the Black guy. He looks around and can't find the Asian guy anywhere so he asks, "Where the heck is that Asian guy?" All of a sudden, the Asian jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."